


41 Days

by HyphenL, kleiner_teufel



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blushing, Coming out of Denial, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Human Experimentation, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Misunderstandings, Moter Hen Sasuke, Naruto being a dumbass (in love), Nesting, Orochimaru being Orochimaru, Post-Chapter 698 (Naruto), Self-Discovery, Summons, What-If, awkward cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-14 09:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16037813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyphenL/pseuds/HyphenL, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kleiner_teufel/pseuds/kleiner_teufel
Summary: Naruto discovers Sasuke is brooding on a suspiciously baby-sized egg. Panic ensues.





	1. Of Snakes and PrEGGnant Bastards

**Author's Note:**

> No hawk summon has been mistreated while writing this story. Please, enjoy.

“And what are you planning to do with that? A giant omelet?” Naruto asked, his nose frowning at the sight of dozens of watermelon-sized eggs floating in massive test-tubes, the whole room crowded with them.

Orochimaru stepped by his side and into the weird laboratory, smiling crookedly as one of his pale hands reached out to caress the glass of a test-tube as if it were a pet. 

“Actually, I was planning on making babies,” he deadpanned, as if it was the most natural answer in the world.

Taken aback, Naruto turned to look at him so fast that his neck snapped, raising both eyebrows at the statement. Part of him thought the Sannin was trying to mess with him, but the serious, sort of creepy expression on the man’s face suggested otherwise.

“Has anyone told you your genes would make for perfect progeny?” the scientist added with a mocking smile. 

Naruto decided to make a point by not stepping away and he glared at his face, though he was internally cringing. 

“I thought it didn’t work like that?” he tried to sound reasonable, confused and uneasy under the Orochimaru’s interested gaze.

“Oh? So you  _ do _ know how that works, then” the Sannin added teasingly,  with a slight implication Naruto didn’t like at all. He decided it was smarter not to dwell on the subject.

“Stop messing around, snake guy, and just tell me why you called me here!”

Orochimaru paused for a second, a smile stretching his thin lips and making him look even more similar to a reptile.

“I am working on something revolutionary and, although it doesn’t please me, I.... happen to need your help.”

Naruto scratched at his shoulder, trying not to shiver at the sound of the man’s voice. 

"Revolutionary my ass," he mumbled under his breath, ready to bet his (recently reacquired) right arm this was but another creepy project. Though he’d been mandated by the Hokage in person, so he did not have much choice but complying.

“What is it about?”

Orochimaru stepped further into the room, gesturing in the direction of the watermelon-sized eggs floating around and the various-shaped liquid-filled devices.

“Procreation. More precisely, the bearing of a human life without the need of a human body to do so.”

“What? Uh…” Naruto’s eyes creased. “So ya weren’t kidding about babies earlier, uh?”

Orochimaru’s eyes found Naruto’s again, and they still held that predatory glint that made Naruto feel uncomfortable.

“I’m not making babies with you!” Naruto shouted defensively, feeling cornered. “No way, uh-uh!” 

He was this close to break into a fighting stance.

Orochimaru raised his arms in a pacifying gesture.

“That won’t be necessary,” he was clearly trying to sound soothing, but only managed to freak Naruto out even more. 

“All I need is a sample of Uzumaki genetic material.”

“I’m not giving you my… anything!” Naruto retorted, thinking how his genes were the last reminder of his mum and dad, and that he didn’t want any part of them to fell into that man’s hands.

“Shall we tell that to the Hokage, then?” Orochimaru asked in a fake tone of concern. He chuckled lightly in the light of Naruto’s disgruntled face.

“It won’t be too painful, I promise…”

 

When Naruto eventually exited Orochimaru’s laboratory some time later, he was fuming. His arm hurt where the creep had removed a sample of skin, and his mood had dropped under his soles. 

He rubbed the small wound angrily, damning the fact that Kakashi in person - that shady traitor - had sent him into the clutches of the Sannin.

He was about to run by the Hokage’s office to give him a piece of his mind when he inadvertently picked up a familiar chakra. 

Was it?...

He closed his eyes to concentrate better, his mood lifting up suddenly when he could confirm the chakra signature.

“That bastard…” he smiled, his unpleasant encounter with Orochimaru already forgotten as he was jumping towards the chakra source.

 

He reached the abandoned Uchiha district in a short time and crouched down on a half collapsed roof to take a look at the surrounding area. He had half in mind to surprise Sasuke (the jerk hadn’t even taken the time to tell him he was coming back to town!), but the unexpected sight of a giant bird perched beside his friend and dwarfing him put that thought on hold.

From his advantaged position, he watched as Sasuke affectionately petted the massive hawk, his hand smaller than the piercing eyes on that humongous beak, before the bird nimbly took off toward the sky. The summon glanced at him once more before leaving, and Sasuke turned his gaze in the same direction while hiding something under his cloak.

“Oi, bastard!” Naruto hopped next to his friend with a huge grin. “Why didn’t ya tell me you’d be back?”

Sasuke almost startled at the other’s shout.  _ Almost _ .

“No need to yell, idiot,” he greeted back in a low voice. 

Naruto giggled, crossing his hands behind his head. 

“Aww, I know you missed me!” he grinned, pulling a knowing face. “How long will you be staying this time?  _ Where _ are you staying? D’ya wanna crash on my couch? Oooh, let’s eat ramen tonight, I have free coupons!” he barely breathed through the excited stream of words flowing from his mouth.

“Tch.”

Naruto could tell his friend was amused as he failed to conceal a smirk. But he rejected him nonetheless. “Not tonight. I am busy.”

“What?” Naruto deflated a bit, but his smile came back full force just as fast. “Okay then, tomorrow!”

“Not tomorrow either. I’ll be busy for some time. I’ll contact you.”

“Why d’ya have to sound like a lawyer?” Naruto complained noisily, pouting a bit. 

“Why do you have to sound like a moron?” Sasuke replied, giving his back to an openly sulking Naruto. At the same time, he was carefully handling something massive under his cloak, but the thick material made it impossible to guess what.

“Such a jerk,” Naruto muttered, already moving to follow Sasuke wherever he was going.

“No. You go home,” Sasuke demanded, tilting his head to pin him with a menacing glare.

Naruto stopped dead in his track. “But…”

“Home. Now.”

Naruto was taken aback. Sasuke had always showed his appreciation in a very Sasuke way, but this time Naruto actually felt like his friend was actually trying to push him away.

“So cold…” he mumbled, dejected. “Will you stay in town for a while, at least?”

“Yes. But, as I said, I am busy so I won’t have time to deal with you.” Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him to get the point across.

Naruto pouted. “At least tell me where to find you, bastard” he replied, convinced Sasuke could still find some time at night to see him.

“I just said I’d be busy,” Sasuke answered. He didn’t wait for Naruto’s own reply and jumped away. 

However, his friend was fast on his track. 

He stopped and repressed a sigh.

“I’ll be at my parents’ house. Now leave me alone, idiot.”

“At your…”

“I said to leave me alone.”

This time, he disappeared in a poof of smoke.

 

Naruto wasn’t happy. Sasuke wasn’t the warmest person on the planet, but he was normally content to see him, and not as...icy-cold. Plus, the jerk was clearly hiding something, which obviously was extremely suspicious. That thought had nagged at him all of the following day, not letting him sleep at night. What if his friend was in trouble again?

He scratched at his arm, where Orochimaru had hurt him to take his precious sample.

He couldn’t let Sasuke deal with issues alone… right? He sort of promised. At least he should make sure he wasn’t in a mess! Sasuke was such a proud bastard that he surely wouldn’t tell him. Just… would it hurt if he dropped by casually and checked on him? Wait, no, Sasuke would probably gut him. So… Maybe he could just… keep an eye on Sasuke’s old house to make sure he wasn’t in danger. Take a peek incognito, ninja style! 

Comforted in his decision, Naruto decided to celebrate with a big bowl of Ichiraku’s ramen before heading for the Uchiha compound again. 

He waited for the favor of the darkness and completely concealed his chakra before daring to approach the old Uchiha house. Naruto knew that Sasuke inherited all the land when his clan was slaughtered, but the whole compound had been inhabited ever since, and the villagers generally avoided it. 

With his expertise as a nin, Sasuke would be able to detect any intruder very easily, so he was more careful than ever in approaching his home. He liked each of his remaining limbs in place, thank you very much.

Stealthily crawling towards an isolated, lit window, he prudently peeked an eye in.

At first, he didn’t notice anything out of place, the house appearing quiet and sparsely decorated. He noted he was looking into a lived-in bedroom, which he supposed belonged to Sasuke. 

The room was tidy except for the bed itself, which seemed more like a big pile of messy blankets and bedsheets.

“So you do have some defects, you jerk” he muttered with a smile, pleased to find a flaw in the apparently perfect Uchiha.

He couldn’t contain a small gasp of surprise when a pale arm rose from under the pile of blankets, and Sasuke shook some of them off his body to raise in a sitting position.

It was a tad early to sleep, so maybe his friend had just been tired or worn from the journey? Naruto exhaled in relief. He may not have any reason to worry after all. 

He probably should have left then, as he had come only to confirm Sasuke wasn’t in trouble, which seemed to be the case. But somehow he couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from the view. 

He allowed himself a few, precious seconds to revel in the evidence that Sasuke was there, alive and well. And that’s when Sasuke moved, displacing the blankets and revealing an ovoid, watermelon-sized shape near him on the bed.

Naruto squinted his eyes, his already high curiosity peaking. The white, spotted thing looked polished and solid. He knew he had seen something quite similar very recently, but right then and there he couldn’t exactly recall  _ where. _

It didn’t click until he saw Sasuke casually bring the object closer to his curled up body, pressing it gently against his stomach. 

Naruto’s eyes widened in surprise at the unfamiliar familiarity of the gesture.

Was that  _ an egg _ ?

Clasping a hand against his mouth to avoid shouting in shock, he moved his face closer to Sasuke’s window, squishing his nose against the glass to take a better look.

That was definitely an egg! A human-sized, laboratory-made egg! Sasuke was  _ incubating _ ! Like a… a… a hen? But a human, egg-laying hen! With spiky hair! 

Naruto rubbed his forehead. He was still slightly confused about it, but recently Orochimaru had told him it was actually possible! Though… Sasuke was too young to be a dad, right? Especially an egg dad, even though he wasn’t sure about the difference. But he remembered his twelve year old friend stating he wanted to revive his clan and...maybe he had meant it literally?

Naruto grimaced.

He didn’t remember Sasuke showing romantic interest for a girl either. Maybe he’d chosen to lay (or, uh... whatever was the word) an egg rather than pursue a relationship? Sure as hell it sounded way easier, especially considering that Sasuke wasn’t in bad terms with his former psycho-teacher.

Though he could have told him! They were best friends, after all. It wasn’t fair that Sasuke would make this kind of life-changing decision without even mentioning it to his best friend!

He pouted childishly, as if  _ that _ could make him feel better.

Inside the bedroom, Sasuke was still laying among the covers, cuddling the giant creepy egg affectionately.

Among his confusion, Naruto wondered how he was supposed to react. Should he ignore the whole ordeal and fake ignorance when Sasuke would show up with a kid? Ought he to protect his friend’s…  _ nesting _ so no-one would learn his secret? Damn, why did Sasuke never tell him anything, it made things so much harder!

Plus, he looked so peaceful, sleeping around that huge egg in an equally impressive nest of blankets, his hands cradling the thing quite protectively.

Wait a minute. 

Naruto blinked a couple of times, suddenly remembering a relevant detail.

Orochimaru had needed  _ his _ DNA to make the egg-baby thing work. Did… did Sasuke know that? Did Sasuke know that his…  _ child _ would be partly, uh. 

Sasuke’s kid would be partly Uzumaki.

Naruto felt light-headed for a second. He was going to be a dad too! An egg’s dad! With that bastard!

Luckily he wasn’t Hinata, because he  _ would _ have fainted at the news. He also wanted to punch both Orochimaru and Kakashi-sensei for putting him in this position without asking him first. He wasn’t ready to be a dad! And what would Sasuke do when he learnt about it? He would definitely freak out!... in a cool, cold-headed way, but freak out nonetheless.

He hesitated, clenching his sweaty hands.

He couldn’t tell him, could he? Reviving the Uchiha clan was important to Sasuke and… and Naruto didn’t want to make him feel bad about unknowingly using his genes to achieve that. Knowing the bastard, he  _ could even _ bring himself to break the egg before kicking Orochimaru’s ass (and maybe Kakashi’s) for using Naruto this way.

“What are you doing here?”

“What?” 

Oh, no.

Sasuke’s clone was glaring at him from the roof and he didn’t look pleased. 

Then Naruto got his ass kicked.


	2. EGGceptional Parenting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto persuades Sasuke to let him help care after the egg, unknowingly fostering his friend’s heartache.

“I want to help!” Naruto babblered (actually more like screamed) as soon as Sasuke opened the main door, ready to murder whoever was on the other side.

“I told you I don’t want you around yesterday,” the Uchiha glared, more than irritated by his friend’s persistent, idiotic behaviour. His clone had been pretty convincing in throwing him out, too.

“C’mon Sasuke, I know you are having a baby, I saw it through the window!”

The misplaced affirmation stopped Sasuke from going out and kicking the blond moron back home (again).

“...What?”

Encouraged by his softer tone, Naruto slowly lowered the arms he had raised to shield himself in case Sasuke’s wrath converted into a murder spree. He straightened his clothes, still looking at Sasuke like he was a feline ready to tear him into pieces.

“I said I saw it.” he muttered quietly, clearing his voice.

“You saw it…” 

His friend still looked unconvinced.

“Your egg!”

Sasuke pulled a face. 

“An egg is barely a baby, idiot.”

“You know what I mean,” Naruto mumbled. “And I’m not letting you take charge all by yourself!” he added, brandishing heavy bags full of groceries. “Come on, I’ll help you with it!”

Sasuke refrained the urge to roll his eyes. 

“I have shadow-clones.”

“Uh, boring. Now you have me!” Naruto grinned hopefully, displaying all his pearly white teeth.

Sasuke sighed, but stepped aside. He knew when Naruto was hell belt on something he wouldn’t give up until he got his way.

“Fine, come in. Don’t touch the egg.”

 

The Uchiha house was vast, empty and silent. Furniture looked antiquated and traditional, and had clearly remained untouched for years. The stale air smelled faintly like dust, which was to be expected since it hadn’t been ventilated in such a long time.

“Don’t touch anything, actually. We’re heading to my room,” Sasuke stated. However, the clone dispelled himself as soon as Naruto opened the door.

“You’re really stubborn, you know that?” the original Sasuke greeted him from his spot on the bed, curled up in the covers around the huge egg. His face was soft despite the harsh words, and his smirk playful. Clearly he didn’t mind Naruto intruding that much. 

“Right back at you, jerk!” Naruto shot back, grinning. “Why didn’t you just tell me you were having a kid? I would have helped!”

Sasuke blinked owlishly, one of his arms sliding down to hug the egg closer.

“Why should I have told you? This doesn’t concern you.”

Naruto bit his lower lip, afraid he would say something stupid.

“Because I’m your friend, you asshole!” he sounded almost offended. 

He threw his bags on the floor and fumbled through one to extract a kangaroo pocket, which he displayed proudly.

“Look, I came prepared! I also bought baby food and, uh, diapers, and like, vitamins for you because you’ll need those, apparently, and, uh…”

Sasuke scoffed, smirking tiredly. 

“You didn’t have to waste your money on this, moron.”

Now Naruto was sure his friend had no idea his Uzumaki DNA was in the egg too. He walked closer to the bed and looked at the huge-ass thing.

“So… how are you going to name it?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Sometimes he couldn’t refrain himself.

“Come on, it’s gonna look like you, right?”

“Don’t be a moron. It’s gonna have feathers and claws.”

Naruto narrowed his eyes at him.

“Yeah, right!” clumsily, he plopped down on the bed next to them. “So… What can I do to help?”

“For starters, don’t do that” Sasuke scolded abrasively. “Get off the bed, and never touch the egg. Got it?”

Naruto looked like a kicked puppy but complied, slowly standing back on his feet. Sasuke noticed that he was obediently waiting by his side, slightly shuffling his feet across the floor.

“Do you really want to do something helpful?” he asked, a slight note of disbelief in his voice.

Naruto nodded vigorously and Sasuke snorted.

“Hey, I can be a pretty helpful guy!” Naruto yelped, offended at the implication.

“What, really? Could you make us dinner?” Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow. He was more than capable of cooking himself, but caring after the egg was a more tiring task than he had counted on.

To survive, the egg required both body heat and a small but continuous infusion of chakra, which forced him to stay focused the whole time. It was slowly exhausting him. Battles usually allowed for small respites, and also he didn’t have to be this careful about the amount of chakra involved. The egg was really sensitive however, which made the task surprisingly more difficult.

“‘Am on it!” Naruto exclaimed, shouting with determination. He had not remembered he wasn’t very good at cooking yet, he was only reminded of it when facing the oven. Would Sasuke be fine with instant ramen?

 

“Covers? I got ya!” Naruto and his clones were running frantically, answering each of Sasuke’s demands to the Uchiha increasing astonishment. 

To be fair, he had not planned on asking much, but he didn’t expect Naruto to obey blindly either. It was too funny and unexpected not to take advantage of the situation. He had half in mind to ask him to do his laundry, just to see if he would snap out of it and give him the middle finger.

The food had been decent. Not overly good, but edible. Then Naruto had brought him pillows. And Naruto’s clones were cleaning up and tidying the whole mansion, for fuck’s sake! 

At first, Sasuke had been reluctant at the idea of Naruto putting his hands on what was left of his family house, but the moron had proved to be very respectful so far. And frankly, Naruto’s presence made it all seem lively and better, as if he wasn’t desecrating the house but rather bringing its very soul back. It actually looked more like a house and less like a cemetery by the minute… not that he was planning to tell his nosy friend as much.

“Oi, bastard! Where do I stick these weird things?”

Naruto waved Itachi’s arm warmers and Sasuke sighed. “First room on the left.”

“‘Kay, ‘am on it!”

Sasuke smiled a little. He was the first surprised that he wouldn’t freak out about Naruto touching his brother’s clothes but, aside from a creeping sadness, he was fine with it. Naruto didn’t care about these belongings, and it made it easier to bear. They were just arm warmers, nothing special. Not as sacred or cursed as Sasuke would have made them out to be.

“You… don’t need to go to the toilet?” one of Naruto’s clones asked. 

“I’ve got my own clones for that, thank you.” 

He gently touched the egg that was safely enclosed by his crossed legs, both of them wrapped up in a thick woolen blanket.

“How is it… how is it going?” the clone asked. “Is the egg, uhm… Is it doing fine?”

“I hope” Sasuke replied, stroking the shell gently. “They need constant chakra and warmth. I think I am being precise enough.”

“Like you wouldn’t be” the clone scoffed before getting on his way.

Sasuke frowned. He wasn’t sure why Naruto felt that invested in this, or if he was just pretending out of his irrational fear of Sasuke bailing again. He was surprised the moron would go as far as cleaning his living-room, but Naruto had never failed to impress him.

However, he didn’t mind the company. This whole ordeal was new to him, and he was secretly afraid of messing it up. Having Naruto around soothed him and distracted him, making it all seem easier to deal with.

 

The next few days went on pretty smoothly, though Sasuke was growing increasingly tired. Maintaining a constant amount of chakra, even at night, was proving difficult since he had to create shadow clones to do that while he slept, which in turn was draining him. 

Naruto kept insisting he had to take the obnoxious vitamin supplement for ‘ninja moms to be’ he had bought during some weird shopping spree for the ‘baby’, but there was no way in hell Sasuke would even consider it.

However, he was indeed exhausted and maintaining the proper amount of chakra was becoming increasingly difficult. It honestly worried him. He was supposed to go on incubating for forty-something days in total, and he could not allow himself to falter during the very first week.

Naruto offered his support with growing concern.

“You sure you don’t want any help with that?” he asked, pointing out at the egg helpfully.

“We have an agreement. Don’t touch the egg.”

“But...”

“No.”

“I’m not  _ that _ clumsy” Naruto mumbled. “And you look like shit.” he added as an afterthought.

“Right back at you.”

“I’m not kidding!”

“Who says I am?”

Naruto made a disappointed grimace; he looked like he would have liked to slap Sasuke across his pretty, stuck-up face.

“Fine, do as you please, jackass! I will dance on your collapsed body!” he conceded in the end, voice low and revealing some exasperation.

“Assuming you know how to dance,” Sasuke retaliated. 

Naruto furrowed his brows. 

“You’ll see that.” he promised, finally leaving Sasuke alone.

The Uchiha glared, though he actually felt disappointed. He was used to Naruto sticking around through thick and thin, and seeing him leave when he was feeling vulnerable was…

He curled around the egg tiredly. Hopefully this would be over soon, and he wouldn’t have to keep Naruto at bay. He knew he was more than able to take care of the egg by himself anyway.

 

Naruto, in the meantime, was growling and mumbling about ungrateful bastards to his army of clones. Sasuke knew how much chakra he had! Naruto would have been far better at handling this egg than him, and the bastard knew it. Maybe he was jealous?

Ah, no. Naruto was just upset his friend wouldn’t let him help while he was clearly in need. The truth was that keeping an eye on Sasuke as he willingly pushed himself to his limit was difficult to watch.

 

Just a few hours later, as if to mock the arrogant bastard, Sasuke’s limit was surpassed. The Uchiha was in the bathroom enjoying a hot shower when the clone he had left to take care of the egg in his place popped out of existence.

Naruto’s first instinct was to go inside the bathroom to check if his friend was passed out or needed help, but his brain reminded him of the egg that was currently left abandoned in bed.

He thus conjured a clone to check on Sasuke while he himself went for the baby.

As for Sasuke, he was so tired it took him a full minute to register that his clone disappearing meant the egg was alone.

By itself.

With no-one to warm it.

He bolted out of the shower abruptly, right in time to bump against Naruto's hard chest. 

“Idiot. Get out of the way!”

“You’re too tired,” Naruto retorted gently, blocking his path with both arms. “You would never let a clone pop off usually.”

“Let - me - through!”

He pushed the idiot away, leaving a trail of soap on his chest on his way to the bedroom. 

But the egg was in no danger.

The original Naruto was laying in bed curled tenderly around the thing, holding it close to his chest with gentle hands. He shifted slightly upon hearing Sasuke storming through the door and Sasuke found himself holding his breath, fearing for the worst.

“Be careful!...” he warned, taking in a relieved breath when he saw that Naruto handled the egg with utmost care, almost as if it was something precious. “...it’s delicate.” he added, but he wasn’t angry anymore.

Naruto was smiling at him in the most endearing way. 

“It’s so warm!” he stated. “And… it moves! Like, when I talk to it, almost as if it can hear me!”

“Of course it can hear you, idiot,” Sasuke answered softly.

Then he remembered he was stark naked, still covered in foam. “I’ll… don’t break it, okay? I’ll be right back.”

He made his way back to the bathroom, relieved that he would be able to shower in peace. 

Behind him, Naruto was blushing. Sure, Sasuke would never be as handsome as himself but… Well, he would have had to be blind not to notice he’d always been kind of… not that ugly. At least from this angle. Certainly not  _ gorgeous _ ! But... fine.

Naruto looked back at the egg, his ears on fire, and placed both hands on the shell. It looked smooth but felt rugged under his fingers. 

The little thing inside moved, reacting to his touch, and he giggled. Was that actually Sasuke’s child in there? How… how cute was that? The little jerk even bumped back against the shell when he gently tapped it! Feisty little bastard.

Carefully, he bowed down to lay his cheek on top of the shell.

“Hi baby,” he cooed, relishing in the foreign but familiar warmness. He received a small boop in response and chuckled. 

It could be his and Sasuke’s child. How wild was that? That he’d have a kid with the person he liked most in the world? Were people usually that lucky? 

That kid would be a handful though, with so much chakra no-one would be able to measure. Naruto found himself smiling wider at the thought.

Gently he brought his forehead to the shell and whispered. “We’re going to take care of you, baby!”

At that moment Sasuke came back, drying his hair with a towel. He stopped at the door, confused about the scene and the soft, caring smile on Naruto’s face.

“No-one’s gonna hurt you, I promise, ‘ttebayo!”

Sasuke blinked, blushed, then looked away. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he muttered, coming to sit on the bed and checking on the egg. “How is it doing?”

The affection in Naruto’s eyes surprised him.

“As long as we are around for them, they will do just fine,” his voice unusually low and rough around the edges.

“Hn. Idiot,” Sasuke whispered, slightly troubled by his friend’s certainty. 

A weird sensation was spreading in his chest but he forced it down with a gulp. 

Yes, Naruto could be cute. That happened. Just like he could be… other things. That didn’t mean he would be any of these things for Sasuke, specifically. Better forget about it.

He cleared his throat. 

“You don’t have to talk to it...”

“What if I want to?”

Sasuke didn’t know what to say to that.

“Whatever,” he muttered, standing up in search for some clean clothes.

 

“And then, your dad conjured the chidori and blasted his ass!”

Sasuke fidgeted, trying not to look as if he was. Naruto had been getting on his nerves the last few days, albeit unknowingly.

“You should see him, Egg, he’s a show-off but he knows how to fight!”

“Shut up,” Sasuke whispered weakly, in a barely audible breath. 

For some reason, Naruto was sharing their whole history with the egg, and making Sasuke look good, too. Almost as if it was important, for the egg, to be reassured that Sasuke was nothing short of  _ amazing _ . 

Hearing so many praises for him coming from Naruto left a sour taste in Sasuke’s mouth. Naruto wasn’t allowed to say those things about him. Not after what he had done.

Taking advantage of the fact that they were now taking turns to care about the egg, he left for the kitchen, hoping to escape the tale. But there was Naruto(‘s clones), cooking, or cleaning, or (worst of all) exercising half naked in the stark middle of the living room.

Sasuke’s home had turned into a well-intentioned nightmare.

“Want some help?” the sexy(iest) clone asked, getting up sweaty from many push-ups that Sasuke wished he hadn’t witnessed.

Asking him to get dressed would look suspicious, so he settled for pushing his face away. “Here to cook.”

He went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, cutting a carrot since, from what he gathered, Naruto was making ramen (again). Although, he had to admit his skills had definitely improved.

When the clones started making innuendos about the vegetables, Sasuke thought this couldn’t get worse.

When they focused said innuendos towards Konoha’s good-looking females, he thought again.

One of the reasons why Sasuke had left Konoha right after he was pardoned was that  _ he knew Naruto wasn’t meant for him _ . It didn’t mean his heart was happy to accept it, though. Seeing this truth flaunted right in front of his face didn’t help soothing the pain in the slightest.

“Can’t you all shut up?” he snapped after they started discussing who, between Hinata and Sakura, would make the best wife.

“Come on, don’t be a prude!” Naruto (one of them) joked. “Don’t you have anyone you kinda like? You can’t be  _ that _ cold-hearted!”

Sasuke bit his inner cheek, forcing himself to breath past the knot tying his throat.

“I’m a ninja, not a…” Shit, he didn’t know the end of that sentence. “Who cares.”

The Narutos laughed at him, and he felt like choking. 

“Well, you’ll find someone to raise that egg with ya,” one said. “Or I’ll just stick around!”

This was said without malice, Naruto’s eyes pure and honest. Sasuke put down his knife and left.

 

The egg actually helped soothing the heart-ache and his brooding mood, warm and quiet against his skin. Sasuke curled around it in bed, pulling the covers over them both. Naruto slept in the guest room, so Sasuke would be blissfully alone for a few hours. He would care after the egg for a while, then Naruto would come take his place so he could rest. But at least in the meantime, he didn’t have to think about him.

He closed his eyes for a second, trying to relax his breathing pattern as he did when he was meditating. The next thing he knew, he was blinking in the darkness.

He immediately moved a hand under the covers, worried the egg hadn’t received enough chakra or warmth while he was asleep. 

How could he be so careless? Succumbing to sleep right at the beginning of his babysitting shift!

The bed around him felt very warm, and Sasuke hoped he hadn’t made irreparable damage.

His wandering hand met the rough surface of the egg right beside him, and the creature inside shifted slightly.

A relieved sigh escaped Sasuke’s lips, his hand sliding down to caress the shell. Halfway through, he met something warm and soft (and suspiciously human like) that wasn’t supposed to be there. Only then he realized that the warmth enveloping the whole bed came from a very familiar chakra signature.

And that one of the blankets wrapped around his shoulders so casually wasn’t actually a blanket (not unless blankets had fingers). His eyes startled open, barely catching enough light to make out the contours of Naruto, whom he didn’t have to see to feel quite acutely. 

The worst part was, Naruto was looking back at him a few inches from his face, a small smile stretching his lips.

“Looks like you can’t make it without me, eh, jerk?” the blond teased, his arm warm and heavy against Sasuke’s shoulder. Luckily, it was too dark for anyone to be seen blushing.

“You should have woken me,” Sasuke snapped, stiffly shifting to sit up. Naruto caught him by the shoulder.

“Aw, c'mon, we’re cosy together, right? Besides, I haven’t slept with you since we were... what, twelve?”

Sasuke caught himself before retorting they’d never  _ slept _ together in the first place. “You should have woken me.”

“Spoil sports!” 

Naruto grinned and shifted to make himself more comfortable. ”Besides, you looked like you needed a little rest,” he whispered looking at Sasuke with a weird light in his eyes.

Sasuke’s body had gone on alert, his brain doing his best to scream at him to kick Naruto out of the bed.

But then Naruto sighed and closed his eyes, his warm hand sliding down Sasuke’s shoulder to rest comfortably on his side.

“Sleep a bit more. I can keep pushing out chakra while we both rest. The toads trained me for it.”

Sasuke felt torn between telling him not to brag and freezing on the spot for how hot that hand felt against him. He settled for shutting up.

He was allowed to enjoy a night in the arms of the person who gave new meaning to his life, wasn’t he? Just a single night.

 

_ Or many _ . For some reason, Naruto kept slipping into bed with him after that, under the pretense that Sasuke could fell asleep again and needed back up. As if the situation couldn’t get worse, Naruto started referring to the egg as “theirs” and mentioning ridiculous ways to raise it after it cracked open (like its first day at the Academy). He started calling them both “dads” and spoke of how their life would be after the baby was born.

Sasuke had never been part of such an elaborate, hurtful joke before, but did his best to keep a straight face and either played the game or mocked Naruto mercilessly. Internally, he was growing crazy. Naruto was truly acting as if they were a newlywed couple waiting for their first child and he couldn’t fathom why.

But the jokes weren’t the worst part. The worst part was Naruto cooing at the egg, talking to it like to an infant, or focusing dazzling grins to Sasuke whenever he entered the room. 

The tender smiles where the worst, because they made it seem like Naruto actually  _ cared _ , and that hurt horribly. Sometimes Sasuke wanted to throw him out, but he didn’t want to elaborate on how this wasn’t as funny to him as to Naruto.

_ ‘I’ve been crushing on you since we were thirteen’ _ didn’t sound like a smart explanation to give.

Besides, if Naruto did understand what was going in Sasuke’s head right now he’d… He’d definitely throw  _ himself _ out, and never come back. Better swallow his hurt and pride and keep in mind this was nothing but a joke to his friend.

“Oi, you okay?” Naruto asked from his side of the bed.

Sasuke groaned back.

Naruto didn’t like that at all, not that he wasn’t used to it. But Sasuke was acting strange, distant, snapping more frequently than the usual. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Naruto had been living into his house, sharing his private space for more than a month.

“Shut up.”

He couldn't help but giving him the cold shoulder treatment. Naruto scrutinised the Uchiha’s handsome face, pondering what was making him upset. 

Up close, Sasuke didn’t look half bad. Naruto especially loved his thick eyelashes, and he hoped the kid would inherit them. Maybe his skin, too. And his lips shape and color. 

“Your eyes are kinda pretty, ya know?” he muttered, lost in thought, his hands still affectionately caressing the eggshell.

Sasuke cringed. 

“I told you to can it,” he snapped, hoping he wasn’t blushing too hard.

“Yeah, a pretty face with horrible personality” Naruto chuckled.

Sasuke snorted, pretending to take offense while he was actually fighting his running heart.

Naruto was making it difficult to remember all of this was temporary.

 

“I’m not eating that.”

“But Sasuke, you’re hungry!”

Sasuke had had enough. Sure, it was one thing to watch Naruto pretend to be an egg’s parent, but another to accept that, because of it,  _ he’d feed him _ like a partner would.

“I have hands! One hand. I can eat by myself!”

“Ah come on, isn’t it what birds do? And we’re having an egg together! We’re totally like birds!”

“The only thing you’ll be having is my first in your face.”

Naruto laughed, that moron. 

“How is that funny?”

“Your face is hilarious. Just open wide and take it!”

“I  _ will _ bite you.”

“Bite the food, the food!”

Sasuke tilted his face, avoiding the spoon of rice moving in his mouth’s direction.

“Saaasukeeee!” Naruto complained, pouting very cutely. “You have to use your arm to hold the egg! Stop being stubborn, is for our baby’s well being!”

Sasuke took a deep breath. “This egg is not  _ our _ baby.”

Naruto stilled. So they were having this discussion, apparently. “Look it’s, uh… it kinda is?”

“It’s an egg.”

“It’s  _ our _ egg!”

Sasuke refrained banging his head against the closest hard surface - the headboard.

“Cuddling it doesn’t make it yours, moron.”

“No but…” How could he phrase that? “...but Orochimaru using my cells to make it kinda… does?”

“What.”

Sasuke looked both fed up and very puzzled. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“Well, he made the egg,” Naruto stated patiently. “He took a sample of my DNA to make it work…” he paused, rubbing his arm awkwardly. “Doesn’t it make it...our child? Both mine and yours?”

Sasuke paused. “Naruto. Did you mistake sake for water again? You’re making even less sense than usual.”

“I’m not drunk!”

“Then you’re more of a moron than I thought. This is an egg. People don’t lay eggs.”

“I know!”

“Then what the hell are you babbling about?” 

Naruto blushed. 

“About you having the Uchiha heir. With me.”

Sasuke needed a moment to connect the dots. 

“You think you are having  _ an egg _ . With  _ me _ .”

Naruto looked embarrassed and confused. “A…  baby, actually?”

“A baby  _ bird _ , yes. Please tell me you don’t believe humans are born in eggs, that is not a conversation I want to have with you.”

“Of course it’s not a bird!” Naruto mumbled. “Orochimaru made it! Out of my cells and yours!”

Sasuke was losing it. “Again, why are you bringing Orochimaru into this?”

“Because! He… he made that egg… right?” Naruto didn’t sound so sure anymore.

“Garuda made that egg.”

“Who?” now it was Naruto’s turn to look confused.

“Garuda. My summon. Big hawk? She asked me to take care of it for a time.”

Naruto looked like his eyes were going to pop out their sockets.

“This is...it can’t be!”

“Makes more sense than a snake-man popping a human-egg out of nowhere.”

Naruto didn’t have time to retort, since at that moment the egg between them produced a faint yet distinct cracking sound.

“Oh,” Sasuke said. 

Naruto was too shaken to react. 

The egg continued cracking, spreading little bits of shell on the covers of the bed. 

“So… it’s a bird?” Naruto whispered softly, still in disbelief.

“Hawk,” Sasuke replied as chinks spread widely on the egg’s surface.

“Not a baby.”

“A bird baby.”

Naruto seemed disappointed, but did his best to hide it behind a weak smile. He raised his body to peek inside the crumbling shell, his heart trembling. 

A tiny beak peaked out, opening up a passage for a cute feathery head with small, clever eyes. Naruto lifted a shaky, uncertain hand to pet it while Sasuke was breaking the rest of the shell to help the bird out, whispering to it gently.

Their baby was an hawk.

Naruto’s world crumbled around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HyphenL: I love oblivious!Naruto more than I care for... And pining!Sasuke. Pining!Sasuke is my fav. (Poor boi)
> 
> kleiner_teufel: so turns out that Sasuke is in love...but well, Naruto is slow. SLOOOW *crosses her fingers and waits for Kurama to call him out*  
> Thank you a lot for sticking with us and if we made you smile leave a small comment down below! *hugs everyone*


	3. UnEGGxpected Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto doesn’t want to leave, but Sasuke will need a bit of honest convincing to let him stay.

“I’ll summon his mother so she can send someone to pick the baby up” Sasuke stated, still sharing body warmth with the newborn bird. Contrarily to actual hawks, the summon was already covered in feathers and most likely ready to fly.

Naruto simply nodded, looking absent. He couldn’t tear his eyes from the clever eyes of the baby hawk. Sasuke frowned at his odd quietness.

“Take care of the bird while I go out to summon Garuda, okay?” He gently put the baby in Naruto’s arms before exiting the room.

Naruto instinctively embraced the small, warm thing that was passed to him, but didn’t bother to answer.

The baby hawk shifted comfortably in Naruto’s lap, his smart gaze fixated on him as if he could read his mind. It chirped gently and shrugged its shiny feathers, perching on the blond’s crossed legs as if he belonged.

“So you’re the baby...” Naruto ventured in a slightly defeated tone.

“And you’re the storyteller...” the bird replied, nearly stopping Naruto’s heart dead in his track. “The one who can’t stop chirping.”

“Oi, don’t call me a blabbermouth, weirdo!” Naruto shouted thoughtlessly. “You’re the one who shouldn’t be talking, you’re a baby!”

“A hawk summon,” the bird corrected while straightening its feathers.

“Yeah, well. Your momma is coming to pick you up very soon, so…” Naruto didn’t know where to put his hands. The hawk seemed comfortable enough to snuggle up against him, in any case.

“I liked your stories,” it chirruped, blinking its small black eyes. “Though you seemed more cheerful when I was in the egg.”

Naruto’s breath hitched and he averted his eyes.

“Is your partner coming back?” the bird asked, snuggling its little head against Naruto’s stomach. “The sad one?”

The blond blinked, not really sure who the baby bird was referring to.

“Wait, you mean… Sasuke? But he’s not… we’re not, uh. He’s just a good friend!”

The hawk opened his eyes again to peek curiously at Naruto.

“Your chakra and his merge like bonded hawks’ do. Is that a friendly thing for humans?”

Naruto cleared his throat, a faint shade of pink coloring his cheeks.

“Well no… I don’t know I mean. But ah…” he scratched the back of his neck, not knowing how to explain the current situation. He and Sasuke were not... Even if Naruto had wanted to, maybe… that baby wasn’t actually theirs.

“Oh!” the bird suddenly chipped. “So that’s why he’s sad...“ He closed its eyes and rolled into a ball between Naruto’s legs. “I hope my mother isn’t sad anymore. A serpent destroyed the nest, and my father was injured. I think the other eggs were swallowed.”

The bird didn’t seem particularly upset. “But you two don’t have a nest, which is even sadder.”

Naruto didn’t know what top say. Lost in his confused thoughts and emotions, he jumped in surprise as a huge beak tapped on the bedroom’s window.

He stood up intending to open the pane, gently collecting the baby bird in his arms.

Sasuke chose that moment to come back.

“Mommy!” The little bird tried jumping out of Naruto’s embrace, only managing to tangle its limbs together in his haste. Sasuke caught it before it rolled off the bed and handled it gently until it rested safely against his chest.

“I’ll open the window. Stand still.”

But the bird flew off to its mother immediately, chirping happily and sliding under her gigantic wings playfully.

“That is...kinda cute?” Naruto’s voice spoke right beside Sasuke’s ear.

Sasuke startled, then stepped away, blushing slightly.

“Hawks are adorable,” he retorted in an almost scolding manner.

Only then he noticed the sad smile playing on Naruto’s lips, but it wasn’t time for questions.

He turned to Garuda and bowed respectfully, thanking her for her trust. The hawk didn’t use words to answer; she was too noble and proud to speak human when it wasn’t necessary. Instead, she slightly bowed her head to display her gratefulness.

“My friend Naruto Uzumaki helped greatly,” Sasuke pointed out with a small smile. “Please remember his name.”

Garuda raised her elegant head and repeated the bowing movement addressing Naruto.

“Naruto is great, mommy! He told me stories all the time!”

The baby bird sprouted its head among his mother’s feathers. “You can summon me anytime, Naruto, especially to tell me more tales!”

Sasuke rose an eyebrow at that, knowing the hawks were usually a very proud summon who only bound themselves to ones they truly respected. Give it to Naruto for making friends with anyone.

“Oh, that’s super nice, fluff-ball!” Naruto exclaimed in sincere surprise. “I’ll tell you all about how I kicked the snake-man’s sorry ass next time, if you wanna!”

The bird chirruped and moved its little wings up and down.

“Were you fighting for Sasuke’s sake? Like dad did to impress mom?”

Both Naruto and Sasuke went rigid, Naruto’s face coloring an embarrassing shade of red. “No, I, uh… I mean... It was about Sasuke alright, but… not- not about…” Naruto was getting redder by the second.

Sasuke scoffed. “He is just unable to mind his own business,” he said, but there was no malice in his voice.

Garuda and Sasuke exchanged a glance, then the giant hawk spread its equally massive wings.

“Time to say goodbye, Naruto,” Sasuke warned his friend, knowing how emotional he could be.

“See you, Blabberbeak!” the little bird greeted cheerfully, flapping its own wings but hanging on its mother’s back. “And you, Sasuke-san.”

Garuda flapped her wings enough to lift herself from the side of the house and up unto the air, then she disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Naruto was waving his hand enthusiastically at them, but his eyes were empty.

 

Sasuke stood still for a little while, looking at that corner of sky, then turned back to Naruto.

“Congratulations on nailing a hawk summon. Those are pretty hard to get, especially without blood bounds. I’ll show you how to call them.”

He waited for a second, seeing how his friend’s gaze was still lost into the void.

“Did you really think this was a human’s egg? _My_ human egg?”

He saw Naruto’s adam apple shifting as he gulped.

“Can we please not talk about it?” his friend rasped, not meeting his eyes.

Sasuke hesitated, but chose to indulge the idiot.

“Fine. Thanks for the help, though. I guess.” He paused. “Are you going home, now?”

It made sense to him Naruto would leave now he didn’t believe Sasuke was having a child anymore. Though he wasn’t in a hurry for that house to turn empty and silent again.

Naruto headed to their bed - Sasuke’s bed - and started tidying up the mess of covers, neatly folding them in a pile.

“Actually I am kind of hungry…”

“Hn.” Sasuke could repay him by cooking him dinner. It would be the polite thing to do, wouldn’t it?

“I’ll make us something.” He was about to leave the room when he turned back with a smirk. “Would you like an egg on your ramen”?

“Jerk” Naruto smiled, a little tight-hearted. “I’ll, uh. Clean up the room, if that’s okay?”

Sasuke didn’t see why Naruto would want to do that, but he had no reason to turn him down. “Just don’t turn it into a bigger mess, moron.”

 

Sasuke was very careful in making that meal, knowing this would likely be their last together for a very long time. Maybe their last home-cooked one. Plus, Naruto had actually proven useful, and he wanted to show his gratitude somehow. So he picked the ingredients carefully and even made fishcakes from scratch, though he wasn’t sure they would taste very good.

He set up the low table in the dining room and called Naruto when everything was ready. The blond ninja came out the bedroom with a smile, though it seemed a little forced.

It turned into a genuine grin when he noticed the food, though. “Wow, ramen! So cool, thanks bastard!”

Sasuke allowed himself to smile softly. He would miss his friend’s enthusiasm for meals. And the way he wolfed down ramen, though he was noisy and a little messy about it. And the way he brightened up a room when he entered it or his comforting warmth when they shared the same bed.

He sat quietly, looking how Naruto gulped down the ramen happily, and gritted his teeth. Maybe it was selfish of him, but…

“So... I get that Orochimaru is messing with genetics again. Weren’t you upset, thinking this egg had some of your DNA in it?” Sasuke tested the ground. “...Mixed to mine?” He added as an afterthought.

Naruto coughed, choking on his food.

“I… uh.” he paused, trying to regain some breath. “… You promised not to mention this again!”

Sasuke looked at his own bowl of food, but couldn’t help wanting to know.

“That is why you came, though. To help me with… who you thought was your child.” Not to help Sasuke as much as helping himself. Which made more sense, though it pierced his heart with a dull ache.

“Well then, that was stupid of me, end of story,” Naruto shrugged, dismissing the issue altogether.

Sasuke played around with his food, his mind wandering. Naruto really didn’t understand how his behaviour could affect him, did he? He didn’t think through the implications of having a child together, and he had no idea how Sasuke felt about him. Which was actually a good thing, albeit painful.

“Hey, you gonna eat that?” Naruto asked, looking at Sasuke’s half-empty bowl with shiny eyes. Sighing, he carefully slid the bowl towards him.

_He couldn’t wait for Naruto to get out of his house._

His friend didn’t seem to share the same sentiment though, since he slowed down his frantic chewing and actually started enjoying the food he was eating. Eyes focused on his bowl, he started humming softly under his breath.

Sasuke stood up abruptly to collect a couple of empty dishes. “I’ll start cleaning up the kitchen,” he muttered, suddenly feeling the sharp need to put some physical space between them.

“What? No, I can do that!” Naruto shouted, spitting a little of his soup. “Let’s just eat together for now!”

“Why would you want to clean my house?” Sasuke snapped. “You’re going home after lunch.”

Naruto’s face darkened and he averted his gaze, his mouth still filled with food.

“Doesn’t mean that I can’t give you a hand,” he spluttered in a low voice.

Sasuke ignored him and went to the kitchen, taking in a deep breath as soon as he was alone. Which didn’t last.

As soon as he was finished with his bowl of ramen, Naruto was back in his space, almost stuck to his back while he looked from above his shoulder how he did the dishes.

“Leave me alone, idiot,” Sasuke muttered as he (not too gently) took the empty bowl from him.

“Oi, you don’t have to revert back to being a complete jerk the minute that egg is gone, bastard!”

If Sasuke’s glare could kill, Naruto probably would have been obliterated by the second.

Luckily for him, Naruto wasn’t stupid enough to tease him when the Uchiha was in that foul mood.

“Okay, okay, I’ll leave you alone…” he mumbled, taking a step back towards the door. “I was going to take a nap anyway, so…”

Sasuke pretended not to hear him. It was about time Naruto collected his things and went home, in the end.

After cleaning the kitchen and living-room (which didn’t take long since Naruto had been quite zealous about it during their cohabitation), he allowed himself a break. His parents’ house was in order, all was left to do was for him to take his own belongings and… get a mission? He wasn’t sure about the next step yet.

Maybe he could stay in town for a day or two, give himself time to catch up on the sleep he’d missed lately. He felt quite tired and the house, so quiet and empty all of a sudden, didn’t seem as inviting as before. Maybe he could benefit from a nap himself.

Checking the room one last time, he went to his own bedroom and almost tripped on a pile of Naruto’s clothes he’d left on the floor. He would have to bring them back to the moron later… Or maybe leave them be and forget about that idiot.

Upset about the mess, he didn’t mind the bed before sitting on it. However, his hand bumped against a heavy warm lump as soon as he did, and he startled at the sight of his friend glaring at him.

“What, you gonna scold me in here too?” Naruto grumbled, before turning his back to him and resuming his nap on the other side of the bed.

“What… what are you doing here?” Sasuke whispered, too surprised to appear angry.

“Trying to sleep, jackass!” Naruto mumbled in reply. “Just… I don’t know, lay down or whatever, but stop making noise, I’m tired...”

Naruto’s voice was soft and clearly roughened by sleep.

Sasuke hesitated for a minute, sitting at the edge of his own bed like a statue, before deciding that the situation wasn’t worth quarreling.

He was tired, Naruto was also tired, and to be quite honest he didn’t like the idea of staying at his parents house all alone, again, after all that time.

He slipped into bed beside his already snoring friend and decided that he would deal with the moron later.

 

He woke up several hours laters tangled with a warm, familiar body and cursed himself repeatedly for being a stupid lovesick idiot. He tried to get rid of the iron-strong arms wrapped around him but quickly realized it wouldn’t work without the use of brute force, which he currently wasn’t that keen on using on Naruto. So he called him out loud until the moron cracked an eye open.

“What’s’it?” his blond idiot mumbled sleepily, nose scrunched up in a funny grimace.

“You’re crushing me. Let me go, you idiot. I need to pack.”

He tried his best to have a firm tone and put some emotional distance between them. Naruto only snuggled closer into him, one of his hand tangling in Sasuke’s hair.

“‘s almost night,” he whispered, his warm breath fanning Sasuke’s face. “We’ll think about it tomorrow.”

Sasuke scowled. He wasn’t going to give in, not again. He had some sort of pride, buried somewhere in his chest, he had to stand up for his decision.

...but Naruto started treading his fingers through his long black locks, which instantly made him lose his angry train of thoughts. The feeling of being petted was foreign, almost an old memory from another life, but it was so pleasant and soothing that Sasuke went completely still, not wanting the caresses to stop.

“I can’t stay here,” he managed to whisper, trying to fight against the urge to drown into that pleasant feeling and fall back asleep. “It’s my parents’ house.”

Naruto snorted softly, his hold on him not relenting.

“It’s not funny,” Sasuke pouted slightly. He didn’t want to tell his friend how his parents had died a few meters from them. He was used enough to the thought, having lived by himself in that house for a few years, but now that he didn’t have a reason to stay anymore he wasn’t comfortable with having guests over. It felt like he would need his parents’ permission which, as childish as it sounded, made him feel they weren’t entirely dead unless he stopped feeling that guilt.

“We can go sleep at my place, if it will make you feel better…” Naruto perceptively suggested, voice shy.

Sasuke frowned. “Do you even have a couch?” he retorted, not taking him seriously but also wondering if Naruto didn’t see how odd his request sounded like. Especially with his fingers still combing his hair that way.

“You don’t have to do this anymore,” Sasuke reminded him, pushing his hand away. “Thanks for helping with the egg but…” He sat up and sighed. “You’re acting weird. And I don’t know if it’s intentional or… if you’re just a moron, but I don’t like it. So either tell me what’s going on, or go home.”

He pondered for a little while, trying to figure out why Naruto would act so clingy towards him. “Are you having troubles with your friends?”

Naruto also sat up, his gaze suddenly focused and filled with an unusual emotion Sasuke couldn’t recognize.

“What? No! No way!” he half screamed before realizing he had overreacted. He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation, and shifted his eyes on the duvet. “I mean...no. I like my friends and they are okay. And...it’s just that you are my friend too, bastard.”

Sasuke shifted, also feeling nervous. “So… you nap with all your friends and comb their hair, too?” His tone was slightly ironic, but he had so few friends (an exact amount of one) he wasn’t sure if he was only being paranoid.

Naruto looked hurt by his outburst because he flinched and refused to answer.

“Fine,” Sasuke spat. “Have it your way.”

He got up, grabbed a cover for himself and went out, looking to crash on the couch. Naruto had been helpful enough he could let this slide, for now. He could always throw him out in the morning, after the moron had time to digest the fact he wasn’t going to raise a baby after all.

 

Sasuke woke up to the smell of scrambled eggs and grilled fish, some sun rays coming from the window-door heading to the garden almost hitting his eyes.

Waking up on the couch of his old family house left him slightly disoriented, and the delicious smell of freshly cooked breakfast coming from the kitchen wasn’t helping either. It took him a full minute to remember the reason why he was there and realize that his obnoxious blond friend was likely the one humming a catchy tune in the adjoining room.

“Why is he still…” he sighed, but got up and got himself ready for the day nonetheless, ignoring that moronic pain-in-the-ass for now. He started packing and tidying his room, ready to leave the house in the afternoon, which meant he didn’t have to worry about Naruto staying until then. When he was done, he brought his small backpack with him into the kitchen, where he was sure to find the dumbass.

“Morning, bastard!” As if on cue, Naruto’s cheerful voice greeted him as soon as he appeared into the threshold. He only grunted his own response, immediately heading to the table already full of food.

“Hope you are hungry!”

Sasuke’s heart skipped a bit.

“Morning” he mumbled, deciding to go with minimal interaction until they parted.

“Oh wow, so you’re not a morning person, not an evening person… basically, you’re grumpy all the time!” Naruto exclaimed, sticking his stupid grin under his friend’s frown as well as a clumsy yet charmingly dressed plate of food. “Look, I drew your face!”

He’d indeed doodled an angry looking pout on the eggs with sauce.

Sasuke grunted in response, feeling even worse for the very familial vibe added to his breakfast. His mother used to draw faces on his food, back in his other life.

“I also made little octopuses with sausages, ya know? Like the ones you make!”

In all fairness, those looked very sick and deformed, but Sasuke couldn’t help but feel even more touched by Naruto’s effort. He was clearly not good at this, yet he tried. It was really starting to affect him.

He opted to focus his attention on eating, trying to keep at bay the mixture of feelings stirring in his chest.

“Oh. You packed your things already,” Naruto murmured, still standing at the other side of the table with a burning pan in hand. He sounded… sad? And maybe a bit disappointed.

Sasuke lifted his eyes to search his friend’s face.

“Yeah….somebody got to be a ninja,” he stated emotionlessly, chewing on a mouthful of food.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, not moving to put down the damn pan.

“Well, I am pretty sure it could have waited a couple of days more…” he wasn’t exactly whining, but Sasuke could see that he was upset. He decided not to give him credit.

“My task in Konoha is over. I have no reason to stay,” he said with finality, a knot tying around his throat despite his best effort to appear unmoved by the situation.

Naruto hung his head, reminding Sasuke of when they quarreled as children and Naruto would close off before an outburst.

“You could stay for me.”

Sasuke almost choked, angered but most of all confused by the sentence. Was Naruto actually coming on to him? It was looking more and more like it by the second. Though it seemed too improbable to be true. Was he that stupid he didn’t realize how he sounded?

“What the hell are you implying, you moron? Why would I ever want to do that?”

It came out harsher than he meant it, but his heart felt bruised by all the pounding and he didn’t find it in him to be patient about this kind of nonsense. Plus, he was blushing, which he loathed.

The pan slid from Naruto’s hand and clattered noisily to the floor.

“Well, I would like that!” the blond screamed back, his own face an angry shade of red.

Sasuke looked at him with his fists balled, just as mad.

“Do you even realize how you do sound like? Asking…” Shit, he was being unreasonable. Of course Naruto wouldn’t think about _that_ for even a second _. Naruto was his friend._

“Alright,” he spat, sitting back in defeat. “I know you don’t mean any of… I know you’re not trying… You’re a fucking idiot. Just tune it down a little.”

Naruto exhaled audibly and avoided meeting his eyes.

“You don’t understand,” he murmured, his shoulders sagging in defeat.

Sasuke crossed his arms. “No, I get it. You never had a family, and this feels nice. I’m… I get it.” He took a deep breath. “Just… no sleeping together, and keep your hands to yourself. That’s not family-friendly.”

Naruto shook his head, eyes wide in disbelief. And they called him a dumbass.

“Listen, Sasuke, I…”

Sasuke’s skin broke into goosebumps when Naruto used his name.

“... I dunno what it is, okay? But I...really liked the idea of us. Together. As a family.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Told you. I get it. But don’t overdo it. The touchy-feely stuff? It’s not that kind of family. So don’t. Ask Sakura if you don’t get it, she’ll explain.”

Naruto chuckled darkly.

“Fuck you, honestly.” There was no humor to his tone. “I might be stupid but I know what you are talking about. I have been raised by a pervert!” he stopped for a second, lost in thought. “Well, two perverts actually if you include Kakashi in the list. The fact is that I like…” the redness on his face came back with a vengeance. “...especially doing these things with you?”

Sasuke turned beet red in an instant.

“You don’t mean that” he replied, his voice disbelieving.

“Uh...” Naruto scratched his bandaged arm. “Did I tell you that the baby hawk thought we were, uh...lovers?”

Sasuke froze, his ears buzzing.

“You… don’t mean that,” he repeated, slightly less certain of the fact. He paused, trying to control his nerves. “ Are you saying…” He wasn’t sure how to ask. He had probably misunderstood his friend.

“You got me asshole. The baby we raised believed we were in love with each other. And I-”

“-So what?” Sasuke retorted defensively. “Who cares how I feel about you? Have you seen me do anything about it?”

He pondered about punching him to get out of this. “You’ve been the one acting weird, moron!”

Naruto deflated like a popped balloon.

“So you don’t want this?” he whispered. He sounded sad. And scared. It was so wrong on him.

“I don’t think we want the same thing,” Sasuke carefully pointed out. “You want a family. I can’t give you that. And I…” he cut himself short. “Who cares. I’m glad you’re my friend.”

He paused, trying to collect his spinning thoughts into a sentence.

“But I’m not… I’d rather you won’t touch me in some ways. This kind of thing… it’s something you should mean. Like how you think of Sakura,” he added reluctantly.

“...But I like you.”

It was barely stronger than a breath, but Sasuke heard it clearly.

“Stop saying stupid things.”

“I do! Sure, you’re a pain in the ass, but you’re so strong and determined! You’re amazing. These last few days… I liked everything about you. From your perfect cooking skills to your awful morning breath.”

“What?” Now Sasuke was angry. “Naruto, that sounds like a love confession. Why the hell would you say something like that?”

“Well maybe I kinda mean it!” Naruto replied heatedly, as he was also starting to lose his temper. “Damn, ain’t you supposed to be a genius, Uchiha?”

Sasuke frowned.

“What?...” He looked at his friend, trying to understand what he was saying. “Is this a prank?”

Naruto growled at him. “It’s fine if you don’t feel the same! But don’t give me that conse...dencencing look, it’s no fun!”

His friend flinched, then glared at him suspiciously.

“Are you saying you…” he took a breath before muttering the following idiocy. “...are attracted to me?” He paused. “In a romantic way, I mean?”

Naruto looked away, blushing and scratching the back of his head.

“I dunno,” he muttered. “Maybe? This last month was really cool.”

“It’s not the same!” Sasuke sighed, trying to keep the heart-break from his face. “You…” He tried to think of an example. “You’d never kiss me, for instance. Or do whatever you want to do with Sakura. It’s just… brotherly bonds, and you fucking need to learn boundaries.”

He looked away. “You can stay a few more days, since you want it so much. But keep yourself in check, moron.”

Naruto blinked, almost as if he was unsure what to do or say. Then he leaned over the table and grabbed Sasuke by the front of his shirt.

Sasuke glared, his body instinctively breaking into a fighting stance, half expecting to be hit square in the face.

Though instead of a hard punch, soft lips landed at the corner of his mouth, catching him completely unprepared.

“Wait, Na…” But his friend was making a point, and slid his hand against the back of his neck to make sure he wouldn’t be interrupted. Or maybe he wasn’t making a point, just kissing him to the best of his abilities (which weren’t very good but at least quite enjoyable).

“What was that?” Sasuke whispered when they eventually broke the kiss.

“I… I wasn’t too sure about it one kiss ago,” Naruto murmured. “I sort of… had to try it out. And yeah, I definitely would like to kiss you again, and again and… other stuff. So I guess…”

He smiled slightly, looking relieved.

“I guess... I’m in love with you?”

Sasuke blushed. “Are you saying that because of the egg?” he pouted. “Because that time at the Valley Of the End…” He cut himself short and looked away. “Nevermind.”

Naruto tilted his head to the side, releasing Sasuke to go around the table and stand by his side.

“Maybe I was too stupid to see it back then.”

Sasuke instinctively brought his hand in-between them to impede close contact. He wasn’t sure he could have handled it right now.

“So you’re…” it didn’t feel right to push his luck, so he decided to shut up.

“Nothing changed, bastard. Not my feelings for sure! But, like… I spent the last thirty nights watching over you you while you slept.”

He coughed, trying to hide his embarrassment while Sasuke reddened at the words.

“I guess the big-mouthed baby bird forced me to think about things.”

“Took you only three years and forty nights? Not bad, for a dumbass” Sasuke smirked, his heart hammering so fast his chest was on the verge of exploding. He felt a tingle in his eyes: the Sharingan had awoken by itself from the emotion.

Naruto chuckled, but it sounded more like an happy giggle.

“Yeah… Besides...you’re so cute when you sleep.”

“Moron,” Sasuke admonished, his eyes softening as a shy blush bloomed on his cheeks.

Naruto grinned sheepishly.

“...Can we kiss again?” he asked in a small voice.

Sasuke sighed, and gently pressed his forehead against his friend’s.

“You’d help me raise _an egg_. It’d be pretty cold of me to ignore your dedication.”

Naruto beamed at him, and brought him closer for an enthusiastic, if slightly clumsy, kiss. Sasuke did his best to stay dignified and in control of his own body, though he couldn’t suppress a soft moan when their lips touched.

He trembled when they kissed.

 

 

The light knock at the door was enough to wake Naruto up after hours of deep and well deserved slumber. He fumbled around under the covers, his eyes still closed by tiredness, and his fingers brushed against soft, hot skin laying next to him. Opening up an eye to admire the resting figure closeby, he couldn’t help but smile. No wonder he was having such a hard time waking up.

Sasuke was still peacefully sleeping by his side, only half covered by the sheets, and Naruto felt his cheeks heat up at the memories of their night _together_. Sasuke’s long black hair was slightly tousled and everywhere on the pillow, his face relaxed. Caught up in dreamworld, he looked a lot younger and well… very handsome.

Naruto couldn’t resist the urge to lean in and stroke the side of his face lightly, careful not to wake him up. Sasuke could be a downright bastard, but he was definitely adorable when he slept.

As the knocking resumed, he remembered what had taken him out of bed.

He shuffled out of the bedroom door as silently as possible, not wanting to disturb his lover’s sleep. He felt even more flustered at the realization that he and Sasuke were… _an item_ , now. Definitely better than only being friends. It sounded so right that Naruto’s chest started swelling, as if he was only now realising how much he had longed to be with Sasuke.

The living room was quiet and the knocking at the front door had stopped, but Naruto went to peek outside nonetheless. Almost tripping on himself due to his eyes not being fully opened yet, he unlocked the door to look at… no-one, actually. The doorstep was empty, and it took him a time to adjust to that information.  His eyes dropped down on a big, square box laying in front of his feet, wrapped in purple paper and topped with a fluffy white bow. There was a little card taped to it. Furrowing his brow, he leaned down to collect the small card, wondering who the hell went around leaving unexpected presents in front of inhabited houses in deserted neighborhoods.

He was a bit disappointed, as there were but a few words on the piece of paper, which smelled faintly of laboratory disinfectant (a scent he had long associated with Orochimaru’s experiments): ' _Congratulations to you both'._

Knowing the jerk, this was probably a prank. Slightly irritated, he took off the box lid nonetheless, opening the present in the street in case it contained some kind of dangerous device.

His heart skipped a beat.

Harmlessly settled among soft padding, laid a watermelon-sized egg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kleiner_teufel A/N: man, this was fast! Hope you all enjoyed the jurney and the bittersweet humor in this story. Writing it was a super entrataining and interesting project and it was probably a bit too fun to be legal.  
> Many thanks for all the kudos and the warm comments... might Garuda be with you!
> 
> HyphenL: Thanks for sticking with us!! This was fun to write, your comments were hilarious and now there's an egg on the way... knowing Orochimaru's sense of humour, who knows what it means? ;) A millions kisses!!

**Author's Note:**

> kleiner_teufel's A/N: So... I recently pulled out a story with a title that mildly evoked the idea of pregnancy while mate HyphenL here published an amazing slice of life ninja story revolving around an egg (if you heaven't read it, go for it 'cause it's totally worth it!). Put us together and this THING happened. And I am not even sorry.  
> Anyone who already knows me is aware of how squiky Mpreg makes me. Nesting tho? Frigging awesome.
> 
> HyphenL's A/N: this fic is co-written with the amazing kleiner_teufel so you'll find it on both profiles. It all started with a misunderstanding with my SNS fic named "The Egg". kleiner_teufel hilariously misunderstood the summary and came up with the idea of Sasuke nesting...so we decided to actually write it!  
> Hope you all enjoy a bit of crack treated seriously!
> 
> Forgive us an leave us a comment if you survived this!


End file.
